The Birds

For months now, my neighbor has been irritated by the magpies that dive bomb his cat. He has made a new hobby of protecting his furry feline and his tactics have been quite amusing. It started last summer when the bird and cat game began, and back then he was amused by the chase. But as the Fall came along his humor dulled and now he’s just damn mad about the whole thing. Even through this cold, murky winter I’ve seen Bob in the backyard scramming the zebra-colored vultures to the tops of his cottonwood tree. He has recently resorted to primal hunting tactics. Early in the morning, before the lapis lazuli sky burns through, he clomps outside in sweat pants and moon boots and sets steel cages to trap the irritants. He actually catches four or five a day. But he hasn’t quite committed to the whole hunter thrill so he is on the catch-and-release program and lets them go every afternoon. Who do you think is more bored, the magpie or Bob?